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| I just got stuck in Westbrook... Well school is busy as always, but tis' the life of a music major. Currently, I SHOULD be at westbrook practicing... But instead I am here wasting time typing this :D Well I was being productive up to this point though. I was doing reading for english... ALmost got that done. We just started a new book. I like it so far. Later I'm going to g see the NHS band at NSBA. My brother is in it so i wanted to go see. Lately I just don't know what to do with my head. I really want to try to make an effort to cheer myself up. And I do fine, then I don't, then I do then I don't... And I want to move forward and forget this stupid summer, and I can't. Well it hasn't been THAT long yet I guess. And everyone's always raving about the bennefits of time. It's hard to believe though. I do't know. I just wish the plans in my head hadn't been inturrupted like this. I feel weak, and stupid, and then i think "no it's not your fault" but always always I come back and question. And I want to go on with the way things were planned, but I'm afraid someday 3 years from now or whatever maybe I will still thik of it to much. I wish I could forgive and forget. I can forgive. I can always forgive, at least once... but it's the forgetting that's the trouble. But anyways. Enough nonesense. I need to declare to myself daily that I will not think about it today and if I do think about it, I will say, try again tomorrow. I just simply can't let this ruien everything. | | |
| Yeah... i don't think that question makes sense... I thought it did the other day though... I think what i meant was that like they say, ignorance is bliss, but then you're stuck being ignorant.... And being ignorant isn't very blissful. But then when you know, and the ignorance is gone, the bliss goes too. Well not always... I guess if you know about something good... But ussually it's more of a "what you don't know can't hurt you" kind of thing... But if you never know, you're a fool... So does it mean you just never win then? I think i should stop thinking before I hurt myself... Or make myself look even less intelligent... | | |
| Is it better to be ignorant, or blissful? | | |
| Seems it has been awhile since I've put anything here. I kinda did the Myspace thing most of the summer I guess. And school now takes over at least 90% of my time... Leaving 10% to eat, sleep and try to find a bit of joy here and there. Today it is really cloudy, and it looks like it would be cold. It's actually pretty nice though. Cool, windy, dull. I've got so much I ought to be doing. Most notably finishing a harmonic analysis of Bach's 2nd suite for accompanied cello, transcribed for bass clarinet. Brilliant music really. And I've got to have pages 1- 137 in faulkner's As I lay Dying read by Wednesday. Then all of this music I need prepared by Tuesday for my lesson.. then the impending audit (no sight singing this time!) And mc Gamut due in less than a week...yet to be installed even. And I should really start reading my history assignments... But the teacher seems to cover the gist of i in class.. i figure If I pay attention, and do the review sheets...I ought to come out alright. And lastly, I have to read some junk about proper bow position of something, and learn to pluck mary had a little lamb on the violin for string methods. Needless to say, I should stop typing this now. I think i would like to go get a bite to eat. At least there won't be these ridicules lines of cult-like red clogging the stupid dinning room today like there was yesterday. "The gift of memory's an awful curse." | | |
| Lie to me... I promise i'll believe.
Lie to me... But please don't leave...
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